This is something that has been on my mind for a while. So prepare yourself for some vulnerability right now.
I’m a fourth year. This is my last year of school and from the outside it may look like I am set. I’ve had a job secured for next year since last semester. I know what my geographic location and occupation will be for the next four years. As a planner this all sounds like a good thing. So why do I feel anxious about what is next?
Change is hard and while I do know where and what I will be doing there are a lot of details I don’t know. I am also not going to downplay the feelings I have about potentially being in a long distance relationship for four years. One year has been hard enough and I have no doubt that we will stick through the tough times but hot diggity dog it is not the ideal plan.
In this time all I can tell myself is to be obedient. I need to continue pursuing the Lord, pray and make Him involved in my life decisions, and just have faith that God is ordering my every step. I know that if I am obedient I will end up exactly where I am supposed to be. Though in order to be obedient I have to put myself in position to listen and learn from the Lord so I know exactly how to carry out my obedience.
I recently finished reading Chip and Joanna Gaines book, The Magnolia Story. Joanna speaks about how she heard the voice of the Lord telling her to close her shop so she could spend time with her young kids, even when it was prosperous. Then again, many years later she heard this voice instructing her to open the shop again…the same shop that is now the massively successful Magnolia Market. Not to mention the success of their show Fixer Upper. That is obedience, and sometimes it is blind. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense, but the Lord knew exactly what He was doing and the blessings He had in store for her.
I want to have this level of obedience. I want to put my faith in the Lord and know that the change in front of me is just a point of transition in my life. I will make it through and what He has in store for me is more than I could ever imagine.